The Please Help Myron Contest CLOSED

Time for a new contest... background and info below:

As those of you who read guild chat and follow the forums know, I seem to be Lisa's target of choice for abuse, mud slinging, torment, and general mayhem. Since I can't figure out what I'm done to deserve this, or what to do to reign in Lisa's reign of terror, I'm asking for help.

As I don't expect ya'll to put effort into this without some form of compensation (well deserved if it works I might add) I'll present it as a 2 part contest, with the winner of each part receiving 10 gold (plus any other goodies I'm able to farm in the next week or so).

Part I - what the %^$#$%^* have I done? Explain to me why you think I'm Lisa's much maligned chew toy. What have I done to deserve this? Did I do something? Did I not do something? What the hex? TELL ME!! Best explanation wins.

Part II - How do I fix it? Is it even possible? What can I do to get in Lisa's good graces so the pain and torture stop? Bestest, most creative suggestion wins. (Plus, hopefully it will work!)

As I said, the winner of each part will win 10 gold and I'll try to toss some extra goodies in there too depending on how much time I have to farm.

Since I need all the help I can get, everyone except for Lisa and me is eligible to enter. Lisa can't enter because she knows the answers and probably won't tell me anyway. Although the rest of you are free to ask her or bribe her for the info.

The contest will run until 6 pm Eastern time, Sunday night, September 8, 2013. I'll announce the winners shortly after that time. Yes, the same person CAN win both parts. If you're that good, go for it!

HELP ME!! Make the pain stop!!

Myron

ok i have to just get the creeps outta my system first from that creepy vid that Lisa posted.... before I can reply to the contest....

wow... that sound if going to haunt my dreams tonight......


lol

She did that in an effort to sabotage the contest. She doesn't want people to help me  

She wants to continue abusing me without me having any hope of finding a way to end the torture.

Please give generously folks...

See Myron, the answe has been staring you in the face for a long time, but you just refuse to see it.
I've seen it, and I know why all this torture and pain is being brought upon you. Once I explain the reason, you're going to ask yourself why you didn't see it sooner...

You never did anything! That's the reason she picks on you! Your extremely high levels of innocence draw the sisters to you, the main force being Lisa. She is trying to get you to lose your innocence so she can say you're corrupted and are no longer suitable for the brotherhood! Just keep your innocence and do not give in to her wicked ways. She is trying to convert you, and you know what happens when you get the other side, you begin to turn evil, slowly making changes. Some of them minor changes, some of them more drastic, such as eating fake bacon and not eating enough regular bacon to compensate for it. Then, they try to get you to consume the Tofu (They tried that on me.. But I escaped..) When you've consumed the tofu, you have almost become lost to the brotherhood. It steals your innocence, it soaks it up like a sponge, and then you are left with nothing but the evil that we have learned to keep locked up inside.

Stay strong Myron! It's only a matter of time before your innocence will overpower her evil ways!

Ps: Eat your bacon for extra strength!

survey says!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nu NU NU....

there are huge flaws in your argument Brad...

1. Will is a brother and HE eats the fake bacon and tofu... You even said it yourself "they tried that on me" meaning Will and I trying to get you to eat tofu..... Plus the Sisters are not about something as trivial as what we eat... no.. are darkness is much more profound. We care about corrupting your soul which not even the great and powerful tofu can accomplish.

2. Lisa would never try and convert Myron to the sisterhood.. I mean... ew. Why would we want Myron hanging around our super awesome secret Sister meetings cracking lame stripper jokes and talkin bout his halo???

2. Myron was never innocent to start with!

whoa whoa whoa... when have I ever cracked lame stripper jokes? or stripper jokes at all?

and this is NOT supposed to be another bash Myron thread! I'm genuinely asking for help here!

Don't let Lisa and Strix intimidate you folks - post your theories!

Z

Myron:

Greetings to you .. I firmly believe that your ability to attract the ire of Lisa is not the result of refusing to consume tofu or other disturbing non meat products(ie. "fake bacon").  The evil aura of Lisa and the sisterhood are far more profound than the mere consumption or lack of consumption of certain non meat products.  The aura exists throughout the universe and only attacks those individuals possessing characteristics to attract the focused energy of the aura of evilness.  The true question is what are these characteristics?  I believe there are several possibilities:
           1. Simple genetic predisposition
            2. The lack of an opposing positive female aura to combat the evil one
           3. A refusal to use Apple products

The answer to the second part of the question is what can you do about this?  There is little that you can do about the genetic predisposition,  since, as far as I am aware,  you exhibit the highest levels of maleness.  The only easy answer to the second reason is to adopt a cat.  The feline aura emanating from the cat will ward off the focused energy of the evil aura present in the universe. (Please try to keep your dog from eating the cat).  For the third reason, there is nothing you can do about that since the use of Apple products by a person of your maleness would cause a violent disruption of the universe and, hence the end of all life and matter as we know it.

I am not sure if any of this helps since as you constantly point out  "I am not right"

"highest levels of maleness".... oh there is soooo much could say to this....

I would throw a slab of bacon at you Strix but I refuse to waste good bacon...

What I see with you and Lisa is that you are in that cold, cold place usually reserved for men who have forgotten their anniversary. You need to make sure you haven't forgotten anything important, for instance:
Did you go Jotun-tipping with her and forget to call the next day?
Did you forget to congratulate her on her one month anniversary of cyber dating Stabby?
Did you loot the precursor she really needed and then give it away in the lottery?

If you have done any of these things, you might need to consider an "IRL" visit that involves a lot of hugging to make things right. (You see where I'm going with this, right? And you thought I wasn't on your side...)

ROFL Don.. that was funny!!

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ROFL... in my case Don the answer is yes.

IGN quinn's aftermath

that answers are simple i thing,,
1) she has targeted you because " she can,

2) what will fix it,, it dosent need fixing but you could also buy her the precurser to the legendary weapon she wants ;-) and if that dosent work also farm the mats for her to craft the rest.

see simples ;-)

Lisa is obviously sweet on you. After all, people only tease the ones they like. Now why would you want to remedy this situation? ;D

Well lets see, hmmmmm , she will probably keep you guessing Myron  , and who ever is picked the winner, if she tells them, she will probably swear them to secrecy or death  , soooooooooo.

I'll say she has no particular reason, she just enjoys making you wonder what you did, when there probably really is no rhyme or reason. She really loves ya bud. She had to pick someone to torture.  


As to what to do:?: , I don't know that there is anything can be done. Your just a pickable person to her, just keep on keepin on being who you are. Seriously, she loves ya man.


psst!, word of advise, kissing up just to get her to stop will only increase her intensity, buuuuuuuuut you could take the Jesus approach, he washed peoples feet, so maybe killing her with kindness (i.e., doing the lottery more often so she has a chance to win it more often) for a start.  

Kitt

Well I haven't really been in this guild for a super long time and I feel like Im still getting to know you guys but this is what I think.

1- I honestly always figured it was just friendly teasing between you to. Being the youngest of all my friends and the only female I get picked on a lot and yeah, it does get to the point where it just annoying but just like them, I don't think Lisa really means to hurt you.

2- I have no idea. I know you're a really awesome guy though and I enjoy talking to you cause you always have a way to make me laugh so if you ever need me send me a message and Ill try to reply whenever Im on!


Though I only know you guys a little bit I hope everything gets better soon cause this guild is like my second family.

P.S. I refuse to accept a reward for helping out a friend. :I

When I was a young girl, my daddy told me stories. One of them was about this man from beyond time, even older than the old ascalon man. I knew we were somehow destined to meet. Knowing I would recognize him by his youthull 88 looking ageless face. I strongly suspect that you are the legend from those stories and therefore do all this to keep you away. Knowing what vile and evil deeds you do in the name of the light.

Keeping in mind that this is just a theory

I see you are noble and pure of heart Veni, I like that Would you accept a bribe, monthly stipend, and free medical care to join the shadows and protect the world from this man before time?

1. Well, I was just going to sum it up and throw two words at you. "Sexual Tension." But I think Don may have already done that in a much more round about yet eloquent way.
2. What to do? Nothing. Give in. When you embrace your hatred your journey to the dark side will be complete. "If you only knew the power of the dark side." "Luke, I am your father." Oh, ..wait...did I get off topic somehow?

I think Ill stay in my own little world for now ^.^ I enjoy being the random valiant midget of the group

lol I love these posts. It's going to be fun judging this contest. I'm still waiting for others to post their theories though...

Kitt, I'll have to give some thought to the idea of doing the lottery a little more often.

Veni, you're awesome sweetie! And I'm glad you're continuing to follow your own path instead of joining in with those Sisters. I'd hate to see you get corrupted.

Lisa, you have never had to keep me away, all you've ever had to do was tell me to go. But if you're pushing someone away while following along, don't they call that dancing?  

Kaegen, ROFL and yes, you got off topic..

OK folks, where are those other entries???

LMBO!!! These entries are great!



When I think of Lisa and Myron this comes to mind. Not to mention being as old as he is Myron probably looks a lot like this, no doubt their tension is caused from Myron's inability to where underwear, like shown above^^^