The Great Ankh Recruiting Contest!

Yah! It's time for another of Myron's contests! Now before y'all start moaning and groaning, no this isn't a poetry contest. It's gonna be something much funner AND will serve a good purpose!

As we all know, Strixy handles most of the "cold sales" recruiting for the guild. It's really a very simple process - Will buys Strixy beer, Strixy drinks beer, Strixy recruits. It's been this way since the days of GW1 and it works! Many, MANY, of us are here thanks to Strixy's Friday and Saturday night beer recruiting.

But the rest of us should really help out with this process. After all, it's our guild too. So how can we help? Well, most of us aren't close enough to buy beer and drop it off to her so we need another way to help. So this is what we're going to do. We're going to write recruiting pitches for Strixy to use while she recruits! We can do this!

Example:

Stuck in a boring guild? Not having fun? Join Ankh guild! Maxed level 64 guild (and guild hall) PLUS fun people! Join now for a 20% discount coupon to Betty's corner!

See how easy that was?

This will serve many purposes such as giving Strixy some new material to work with plus she can copy and paste from the forums thereby avoiding those beer influenced typos.

Here are the rules:

1. Post your suggestion into a reply here on the forums.

2. Your entry must abide by the PG-13 rule.

3. It has to fit into a single chat entry window... in other words, Strixy only has to press Send once to put your entry out there in all it's glory for the map to read.

4. Naturally, it must reference Ankh. It can refence that we're maxed guild level, the guild hall, the people, funny stuff, whatever else, as long as it references Ankh.

5. Enter by 6pm EDT on April 15th, 2016. The winner will be announced during my radio show on Saturday night, April 16th.

6. Have fun with it!!

Our special guest Judge will be none other than Strixy herself. So make her laugh! Crack her up!

The winner will receive 25 gold plus an assortment of any other junk... err, treasures... that I get from farming the next couple of weeks.

As always, I reserve the right to hand out additional prizes as I see fit depending on how much you guys make Strixy and me laugh.

Ready? Set... GO!

[Ankh] The guild for tofu lovers. Everyone LOVES tofu in this guild. I mean they really love it. They love tofu so much they refuse to eat Tofu's mortal enemy: Bacon. Everyone in Ankh hates bacon. They loath it. So join Ankh and love Tofu with us. (One must also not be allergic to poop and jars)... JOIN ANKH!

Hows that?


[Ankh] Do you like puns, tongs, or crock-pots? Maybe you prefer pirates or lemons? Perhaps you enjoy a nice glass of rum... or maybe you go for the boxed wine. No matter what you like, from building shelves to dancing on Dukesy's table, Ankh is the place for you!

Y'all redneck honkeys should be [Ankh]ies. Like hayseed? We is the guild you need. [Ankh]ies max guild hall, that's whats goin on yall. Join [Ankh] in Lions Arch an we gunna beer crawl.
*Nods*

Are you a redneck, living off of Hot Pockets, and yet you feel like something is missing in life? Join Ankh where you will find awesome people that will fill that hole in your heart with joy.

Icorax / Revenant

LMAO omg this is hilarious!!!

Sorry, was busy this weekend so the contest is extended until midnight EDT April 17th... Enter those slogans!

Our resident Klingon Jo sent me this entry... can anyone translate this?

Ankh muv! guild 'e' laj tlhIngan SuvwI' 'ej latlh Hoch Segh. je! muv DaH SeH jatlh, rut!

OK, got the translation... for those of us who do not speak Klingon it says:

Join Ankh! The guild that accepts Klingon warriors and all other classes too! Join now. Because I said so!

Omg Myron. Your Klingon is a little rusty, and rough in the translation, but I'll spare you this time. Don't let it happen again please.

Jo

Seraphys

We're the strawberry to your jam; we're the green eggs to your ham We're the peanut to your butter - [ANKH] will make your heart flutter. Join us or die.

LOL Jo that was impressive

ok, the contest is closed! Now comes the hard part, Strixy has to pick a winner... Strix, I'll get up with you about this so we can confer.

Dangit, as usual I slacked on a contest and missed it. Inspired by Jo, I was going to do a Huttese entry.

I vote to extend the contest lol

lol well, you're the Judge... ok, contest extended until Friday night, April 22, 2016 at 9 pm EDT. Go ahead and dazzle us Zeph!

"You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you!" - Join Ankh...BE Something

"I'm going to do something now they used to do in Vietnam. It's called making a head on a stick." - Join Ankh...For Arts & Crafts with a Difference.

Uh oh. No pressure or anything. Well, you didn't have to extend for my sake...but thanks! I was only going to make a joke entry anyway, because a recruitment message in a foreign "language" wouldn't fly. Ok, here are both joke and real entries:


[Ankh] Chuba. Doth uba joleu see dotkola wa poodoo? Pineu ten an kaza wa yahaa see Tyria.

(roughly translated to "Hey you. Are you tired of being a poophead? Join us and become a hero of Tyria.")


[Ankh] Do you prefer to see a quaggan in a bow tie or in a hot pan of butter? Do you like tofu or are you actually happy with your life? Do you obsess over min/max-ing your newest meta build or would you be perfectly fine with a dance party and other, random shenangigans in the guild hall? If you went with the second option of any of these questions, then Ankh just might be the guild for you! Whisper me for more info and if you would like to join other like-minded people!

(obviously, my rip on tofu will instantly disqualify me )

OK, we're extending this again to give more people time to enter... we're having to much fun with these... Contest extended until next Friday night, April 29 2016 when it will close at 9 pm EDT.

Join [Ankh].*
*All applicants must provide a written, signed, dated, notorized request within 5 minutes after reset on any given day.
All applicants must provide a credit report and refferences upon request.
All applicants must submit to random urine testing for tofu or tofu related products upon reqest.
Membership in Ankh may not be available in all states and is not open to current or former employees of Anubis.